A Dirt Cheap Massage Made Me Feel Filthy Rich

Beautiful young woman relaxing with hand massage at beauty spa

I’ve never had a massage. If you’re a regular reader of this website, I’m sure this information comes as no surprise. Now, it’s not that I don’t need a massage; far from it. I definitely, consistently hold a lot of tension in my… bodily region. Said tension is, no doubt, more than partially due to […]

7 Crazy Scholarships


There are plenty of scholarships for people with, shall we say, eclectic interests. Maybe you’re into marionettes. Maybe you’re a member of the United States Bowling Congress (a pretty official name for an organization whose committee members have names like Lyle Zikes and Rhino Page). Maybe you’re studying parapsychology, but your ESP wasn’t quite strong […]

How to Convince Your Friends You’re Rich


So your dating app that connects lonely ferret owners wasn’t a success, God selfishly ignored your prayers for a winning lottery ticket, and instead of investing in Google your dad invested in Bugles. But just because you’re not rich doesn’t mean your friends have to know. Here are some tips to fake it until you […]

[VIDEO] Cat Toy Showdown: Pet Store vs. Drug Store

This is Murphy Brown.
This is Murphy Brown.

Everybody knows that pet stores sell expensive cat toys and drug stores sell cheap cat toys. Everybody… except for the cats. Do cats recognize any difference? Do they have a preference? Will the more expensive toys even last longer? Josh Androsky sets out to answer these questions, in video form, with a little help from […]

A Sort-of Scientific Guide to the Happiest Life

Paper Cut Of Family With House And Car On Green Grass

If you’re reading this, I’m boldly assuming that you’re alive. And, unless you’re reading on a communal computer at a prison, you’ve probably got your liberty, too. So I suppose all that’s left is the pursuit of happiness. Thanks to the scientific polling and statistical analysis of many people who are not me, I’m offering […]

The 6 Strangest Slot Machine Tie-Ins


For some of us, the glitz and glamour and indoor smoking of casinos still isn’t quite enough. Perhaps we’d finally feel alive if we could cram in just a little more stimuli, if we could combine our favorite franchises with our favorite methods of rapidly losing money. As so, from the same civilization that brought […]

The Adorable World of Pet Rentals

Beautiful French Bulldog Puppy Dog Pup Puppy Whelp Outdoor

Everyone likes their best friend’s dog or cat. You get all the fun of playing and petting and snuggling and riling up, and at the end of the day you can just go home, litter box unchanged, keepsakes unchewed, hardwood floor unvomited upon. Well some savvy entrepreneurs are looking to modernize your selfish avoidance of […]

The Correct Way to Use a Piggy Bank

Bank Bust

Five years ago, while shopping for frighteningly cheap cucumbers at the Latin supermarket chain Vallarta, I spotted a shelf of ceramic piggy banks and decided to buy one for my girlfriend. They came in a bizarre variety; I chose an embarrassed monkey over a surfing donkey or a famed turn-of-the-century Mexican narcotraficante, and for the […]

[VIDEO] The Definitive Taco Bell Delivery Review with Josh Androsky


In case you haven’t heard, Taco Bell has a delivery option now for some reason. For a nominal fee, you can stay at home and have all the various permutations of salt and fat come to you! We know what you’re thinking: “Everything about that is great on paper. But how does it work in […]

Sneaking Food into a Baseball Game

The perfect crime.
The perfect crime.

I don’t mean to be an uh-oh boy over here, but dig this: Baseball isn’t America’s pastime anymore. It’s been trumped by something far more prevalent: paying way too much money for garbage-trash. It happens everywhere: the movies, the airport, the fancy mall that’s trying way too hard to look like some old-fangled Norman Rockwell […]

How to Recreate Fancy Name-Brand Juices at Home

Fresh Organic Green Smoothie With Salad, Apple, Cucumber, Pineapple

Let me get this out of the way first: I don’t care, even a little bit, about fancy juice’s supposed health benefits. I’m aware that juice parlors are riding a wellness wave, with their acai berries and antioxidants and preservative-free preparations and employees with names like Cayenne or Cheyenne or Cyan. Cold-pressed juice uses high-pressure […]

This Is the Dirt Cheap Internet Access You’ve Been Waiting For

Sleepy beagle dog in funny glasses near laptop

EveryoneOn.org is an organization dedicated to providing Internet access to all, or, as they put it, they aim to “leverage the democratizing power of the Internet to provide opportunity to all Americans — regardless of age, race, geography, income, or education level.” This non-profit goes even further by also providing consumers with a way to […]

The World’s 7 Most Expensive Pools

Woman relaxing in infinity swimming pool on vacation

When our cavemen ancestors dug a hole and filled it with water, did they have any idea of the grandiose heights our vision and hubris would eventually attain? Of course not, they were cavemen. They were really, really stupid. I bet they didn’t even have a Roku. But progress marched on regardless, and here are […]

The Best Cheap Attractions in Expensive Cities

Back side of traveler girl searching right direction on map, bright orange sunset light, traveling a

Unless you’re the Sultan of Brunei or Kanye West, you probably try to be as frugal as possible when traveling. Which is especially difficult if you’re visiting New York City, Honolulu, San Francisco, Santa Barbara, or Boston—five of the most expensive U.S. cities for tourists, according to Investopedia. But hey, you’re not a 1980s retiree […]

A Cheap-Ass Guide to Looking Like a Girl

Manicure process... Female hands...

The patriarchy says I gotta look glam or folks’ll give me guff. Well guess what, wise guys? I’ll play your sick game, but if you think I’m spending any more than the bare minimum in the process, you’re out of your mind. Thankfully, looking halfway presentable doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. […]

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