10 things to do before the end of the world
Photo courtesy of Jason Major.
So the Mayan calendar is coming to an end, and any logical person sees this for what it truly is: THE END OF THE WORLD. It’s here people! December 21, 2012 is just days away! Now before you freak out and try to dig out a bomb shelter under your house in the next 48 hours or so, here are some better tips for you. You want to know what you should do before the end of the world? Well I gotcha covered. 1. Climb Mt. Everest, find a goat and tell it in a big hearty yell, “I am a mountaineer!” And take the Ricola horn with you.
2. Ride a camel across the desert while wearing a fedora. ‘Cause seriously, fedora’s are cool.
3. Crash a rock concert and sing “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” karaoke-style.
4. Use a pogo stick to run with the bulls in Spain. Make it even more exciting by wearing red.
5. Spend the night in a pyramid while watching every single Indiana Jones movie. And make sure you’ve got that darn fedora with you, too. Whip optional.
6. Toilet paper Stonehenge, and blame it on the aliens.
7. Watch every movie in the series of Lord of the Rings, Rocky, Star Wars and Godfather simultaneously all in one night! It’s an offer you cannot refuse… Beam me up Scotty!
8. Build a rocket ship, find Bruce Willis, and tell him he’s our only hope to save humanity from the asteroids! Make sure you sing to him, too…”Don’t wanna close my eyes, don’t wanna fall asleep ’cause I’d miss you babe…” Scratch that, you have a rocket! Climb in and fly to the moon!
9. Use a battery-powered rocket pack to fly to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you are Michelangelo reincarnated, and you’re just going to restore the ceiling. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it.
10. Go to San Diego Zoo and ride a giraffe through the lion habitat while singing, “In the Jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight…”
Hold up…we’ve got less than a few days before the end of the world. You’ll never get all this done. Go kiss your Mom, dig out that bomb shelter, and enjoy the end of the world by singing some R.E.M.