Herding Cats: Our Favorite Finance News for the Week of May 23rd

I've run out of money-related LOLcats to steal from I Can Has Cheezburger, so this week's post features my family's very own kitten, Madeline! I threw a handful of dollar bills at her (hoping for some amusing behavior and a decent picture), but now all my cash is riddled with teeny-tiny teethmarks.

PC World: Google's Pac-Man Tribute: Bad For Business? - Measuring "lost productivity" in the American workplace is, at best, a pretty sketchy guessing game. Nevertheless, last Friday's brief introduction of Google Pac-Man allegedly sucked $120 million in man hours from the economy. I don't think Pac-Man is even capable of grabbing the goldfish-like attention span of an office worker my age, but just imagine if Google tried this with a more modern 1990's-era game instead, something like Grand Theft Auto 2 - it's about a thousand times cooler than Pac-Man, sooooo... I calculate $1.2 trillion in potential lost productivity. Arbitrary math is fun!

Consumerist: Someone Paid $250 Million For Some PBR - As much as it pains me to purchase or even be seen with anything so heavily adored by people like this, the smooth deliciousness of Pabst Blue Ribbon is something I just can't say no to, especially for the rock-bottom price of $7 per twelver at Vons or Ralphs (and because it's endorsed by Hipster Tiger). I've also realized that the more squares like me drink it, the less fun this guy, or these guys, will have when they ironically consume it. Does this mean I'm going to move to a shack in Silverlake and start listening to Animal Collective on vinyl? God no. I'd rather be assimilated by the Borg... they probably listen to better music anyway.

The Telegraph: 'Biggest House In America' Up For Sale - This is great timing, because I've actually been looking for a new 30-bedroom bachelor pad. My current place is great, but you know, there comes a time when you just want to upgrade to "90,000 square feet of jaw-dropping opulence" with a baseball field, two tennis courts, an Olympic-sized swimming pool, two elevators, two movie theaters, ten kitchens, a bowling alley, a rollerskating rink, and a video arcade. Best of all, America's "Versailles" is located in Windermere, Florida, so the new buyer gets to be neighbors with Tiger Woods! Just don't be surprised if once you move in, your wife starts getting raunchy text messages from someone named "Eldrick."

MainStreet: Your Cul-De-Sac Is Bad For You - This is the first I've heard of people hating on cul-de-sacs, a sacred road-design staple of white suburbia. I've lived on one my entire life, and they're pretty great - no noise, no through traffic, and plenty of room for kids to safely play wiffleball or street hockey. Unfortunately, local governments have realized that more through streets mean more money saved, because the resulting thinly-spread traffic congestion leads to a decrease of excessive repairs on main roads. My hometown is notorious for slowing down alternate residential routes with superfluous speed bumps and stop signs, so hopefully they hear this message loud and clear.

The Wall Street Journal: Uncle Sam Wants You To Bid On This Fine Weasel Fur Coat - The government is doing some controversial wheeling-and-dealing of confiscated wildlife goods. On one hand, auctioning off a trophy buffalo head or lizard skin watchband raises money for national conservation efforts, but on the other it perpetuates the market for rare (and often tasteless) merchandise made from dead exotic creatures. I'm fine with it, because I get to bid on these FABULOUS ostrich skin cowboy boots. Just kidding. But seriously, some of the python skin belts and shoes are pretty cool... if only I were a Central American druglord!

Have a phenomenal Memorial Day weekend, and hey, if anyone messes up your plans, just stay cool and react in a totally rational way that properly reflects the severity of the offense.