Affordable Etiquette 101 with Where IS Your Mother?

A month ago I received the book, "Where IS Your Mother?: A Simple and Suggestive Guide to Basic Etiquette and Simple Grace" by Ava Carroll-Brown to review.  The book teaches you about basic etiquette in different situations.  I laughed and cried laughing because some of the scenarios that she spoke of brought back hilariously-horrible memories.

I relate etiquette to manners in more simpler terms and it's something that needs to be taught at an early age.  Saying "excuse me" and having the correct posture at the dinner table are all part of having proper etiquette.

Growing up, my parents were sticklers for having proper etiquette and what I thought were constant nagging at the time, turned into something that I am thankful for now (my kids and I still have our moments--nothing horrible, but we try our best).

Etiquette classes can range from $35 per hour to thousands of dollars for experts in the field.  Big metropolitan cities like Los Angeles and New York have classes that start from ages 3 and up.  But for common day to day manners, it's hardly affordable for the average person to get private coaching.

For me, a good etiquette book can be informative and teach you the basics in having great etiquette without the high cost of taking classes (If you can spare some money, I would totally suggest taking a class). 

Ava talks about things that you shouldn't do such as blowing your nose at the table, chewing your food with your mouth open and double-dipping (she is hilarious when she paints this obscene picture in your mind).  While it sounds ridiculous that people do this, it's very common.

Whether it's teaching you not to put your elbows on the dinner table or even talking with your mouth full, you learn to be a more pleasant person to be around.  It sounds simple, but many people break these rules on a day-to-day basis.

About 10 years ago, I took a Greyhound bus from Chicago to Los Angeles with my friends.  We stopped at a Subway for lunch and as soon as I started to bite into my veggie sandwich, the person who sat next to me on the aisle over, started to clip his toe nails.  Immediately, my gag reflex kicked in and I couldn't take another bite.  As I gave him the evil eye, all I could hear for the next 10 minutes were clippings of his toenails.  It was disgusting and I immediately thought, "What did your parents teach you?"

When your child has bad manners, like anything else in life, it's a direct reflection on your own manners.  I understand that it could be difficult in teaching your kids good manners, but would you rather teach them early on or get humiliated when they start to pick their nose and eat with the same finger at the dinner table, when they are well in to their thirties.  If you are a stickler and lead by example, what they learn from you will be invaluable.

Some of the basics I would like to highlight from "Where IS Your Mother?" are manners at the dinner table and appropriate behavior for you and your children at a restaurant.  You learn about what's appropriate and what's not, in different situations for you and your kids.

At The Dinner Table

Improper Posture - You shouldn't use your elbows to guard your food, stretch your legs out into the walkway and use the table as a pillow, which Ava calls "sleepers."

Proper Posture - You should sit up straight in your chair, legs should be tucked underneath, and your foot firmly planted on the floor.  Ava says, "And no squirming around like a restless animal. When you are invited to sit at a table, the assumption is that you are human, so act accordingly."

Children at a Restaurant

Don'ts - It's obvious that we all want to enjoy ourselves at a restaurant, but to have your children go out of control such as standing or jumping on the dining room table and completely ignore the situation is unacceptable.

Dos - Make sure you feed your children something, if you know that dinner will be served at a later time.  Don't assume that the restaurant will have activities ready for your kids, instead take toys with you so that they have something to do while they are waiting for their meal.  If they haven't taken a nap and they start to get cranky around the time you need to leave, change your plans and go out for dinner on another night.

Ava says, "It really is unreasonable and ridiculous to place children in an adult situation and expect them to act like adults - that just doesn't happen!"  She continues to say, "But as parents, we do have the ability to somewhat control the situation..."

While these are only two examples from the 23 chapters in the book, most people can relate to these situations because they've probably experienced them one way or another.  Furthermore, the book goes into explaining more about gratuities, when not to wear white, how to use your "silverware," what a napkin is used for, suggestions for thank you gifts, using the proper word and the list goes on and on.

If you are about to go to a formal event, a dinner party, high tea, and you would like a refresher course in etiquette, this is the book for you.

If you believe you have no foundation on good manners, it may be worth investing in some good etiquette classes for you and your children.  Having etiquette can make all the difference in the quality of your life.  Because seriously, who wants to hire the guy who voraciously sneezes into your face during a job interview or date a girl who's glued to her Blackberry on a first date.  Plus, it doesn't hurt to have good posture, as it helps with your health.

You can purchase "Where IS Your Mother?" in softcover for $11.83 on Amazon (retails for $15.95) or request it at your local library gratis!