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What do the BP Oil Spill, Sex and the City 2 and Foxconn Deaths Have in Common?

By (view all posts by iHuppp)
at 12:41PM Thursday May 27, 2010
under Newsworthy

It appears that the "Top-Kill" method is working in more ways than one this week.
Those hoping to see Kevin Costner's oil cleanup contraption in action are out of luck as the BP "Top Kill" method is actually working. With an estimated 19 million gallons spilled into the Gulf, experts believe BP's initial leak-rate figures to be up to five times more conservative than actuality (check out the BP Twitter spoof). Which makes sense, considering under the Oil Pollution Act of 1990 the government no longer differentiates between oil sold and oil spilled for tax purposes. I believe that this officially makes this BP blunder one of the most expensive bar tabs in history, a figure estimated to be around $35 million at the moment.

Unless you count what my bar tab would be if I were to go to the Sex and the City 2 opening tonight. While Hollywood has been churning out some especially crappy films recently (WWHBD?), I dare say that the newest installment of the popular Sex and the City franchise looks more painful than watching the Twilight Series lucid and in costume. Still, with the original Sex and the City movie tallying $152 million domestically, I can hardly blame my fellow capitalists for their predation on contemporary youth's obsession with cliché serial materialism and fabricated idealism of what it means to be a woman. The Man has won!

Which is precisely why Foxconn employees have been jumping at an alarming rate. As of this morning, Foxconn deaths rose to 16 to include a double-jump suicide (a feat mastered by only this man). While we all know factory workers live worse than indentured servants and earn an impossibly low wage in a sordid living environment, Foxconn claims that their wages and conditions compare well with other manufacturers. Unsurprisingly, they began asking employees and new hires to sign contracts yesterday morning agreeing that they would not commit suicide or sue Foxconn.

What's to be done? Those with iPhones will benefit to know that Foxconn is a main Apple manufacturer. I'm not advocating switching to the equally awesome Verizon Droid Incredible or Moto Droid Shadow because of this--but it is a cold reminder that we bourgeois consumers are able to live our lives because of unchecked capitalism detrimental to others.

Of course, there are more plausible explanations for these things: Mother Nature stopped weeping oil so she doesn't have to deal with runny mascara at tonight's SATC2 opening, and Foxconn men would do anything to avoid seeing the 4th Horseman of the Apocalypse on the big screen.