Halloween Costumes Worse Than the Toddlers and Tiaras Pretty Woman Prostitute Scandal
By stella.louise(view all posts by stella.louise)
at 6:59AM Tuesday September 13, 2011
under
Loose Change
The blogosphere was all up in arms last week about the episode of Toddlers and Tiaras which featured a pint-sized
contestant dressed up like a hooker ala Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. As horrifying as that might be, I've found six similarly age-inappropriate get-ups geared towards young girls. These Halloween costumes are most definitely scary--but not in the traditional "Boo!" kind of way.
Here are six girl's costumes to steer clear of--unless your intent
is to have a "Hootchie Halloween" rather than a Happy Halloween:
Victorian Vampire Costume
Well, they certainly got the "vamp" part right--but "Victorian"? I always thought vampires were about black capes and fangs--who knew that lace and fishnets were also involved?
According to the product details: "
The girl's elaborate Victorian Vampire costume consists of a satiny red and black off-the-shoulder dress with lace accents and a black stand up collar, a removable oversized bow detail and a red choker bearing a gold cross."
Um, cross? Do y'all know anything about vampires? Ironic accessories aside, the outfit looks more bordello-dweller than bloodsucker.
Spell Casting Sweetie Costume
Remember when witches were scary old crones with a wart on their nose draped in a shapeless black dress? Well, not any more! Today's witch is stylin' in ruffled mini skirt with bustier-type bodice.
Plus the broomstick can double as a stripper pole...
Gothic Ballerina
Maybe it's just me, but "gothic ballerina" seems like a total oxymoron. Whatever they were going for here, the final result doesn't scream "ballerina"--gothic or otherwise--to me. Not even that of the Natalie Portman "Black Swan" variety.
Honestly, it looks more like a Moulin Rouge Can-Can girl than graceful Giselle...
Pretty Pirate Captain
Ahoy, mateys!
Johnny Depp claims to have based the look of Jack Sparrow on rocker Keith Richards. This pirate captain costume looks to have been inspired by the Pussycat Dolls.
Wouldn't be inconvenient to get a run in your fishnets while swashbuckling?
Hannah Montana
Although Miley Cyrus has been working overtime to shed her "nice girl" image, the Disney-created Hannah Montana has mostly been a wholesome role model.
This version, however, makes the wearer look cheap. Which coincidentally is the status of the costume--currently marked down to $19.99 from $34.99.
To be fair, the costume website had plenty of more age-appropriate get-ups: Strawberry Shortcake, Dora the Explorer and Harry Potter-themed garb. Even the abundance of Disney princess costumes with their skewed "Someday my prince will come" philosophy aren't as objectionable as some of the outfits pictured above.
What do you think? Would you let your little girl go trick-or-treating (
or perhaps more accurate based on the outfits tricks-a-turning...) in any of these costumes?
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