Spooky Spirits

Halloween is not the most distinguished of holidays. It's hard to look elegant in a Freddy Krueger mask or as a "Sexy Corpse Bride." Or "Sexy M&M." Or "Sexy Swashbuckler." Or "Sexy Tin Woman." I swear, I am not making these up!

So what's a refined hostess to do when Halloween rolls around? What can she serve that's sophisticated, not sophomoric--like dry ice in the punchbowl? Or worse, a floating hand in the punchbowl. In short, what Halloween booze won't insult your (or your guests) intelligence?

Have I got a list for you! Read on for Stylish Spirits sure to make your adult gathering a hit:

Blavod Black Vodka

Exactly like other vodkas except for...well, it's black. Which probably isn't a plus at any other time of year. But serve Blavod on Halloween and your guests will shriek with delight. Put it in shot glasses marked "Poison" or if you want to be really festive, pour Blavod over some ice, carefully pour some orange juice on top, don't mix, and you've got yourself an orange and black Halloween Screwdriver.

Crystal Head Vodka

Another vodka, the universal mixer. Crystal Head Vodka is not a scary color, but it does come in a scary, skull-shaped container that will look perfect as the centerpiece of your Halloween bar. If you want to be really scared, watch Crystal Head spokesman Dan Akroyd's video on their website. Looks like someone took Ghostbusters a little too seriously!

Death's Door Spirits

Death's Door makes a gin and, of course, a vodka. The name actually refers to the passage between Washington Island and the Door Peninsula--known as the deadliest passage in the Great Lakes. But your guests don't have to know that! They will be too busy being amazed at your Halloween theme cocktails like the Wicked Wisconsin Wassail and the Death Grip (2/3 oz each of Crème de Cassis and Cointreau mixed with 1.5 oz. Death's Door Gin and a few drops of lime juice. Truly deadly!)

Spooky Wines

Let's see, you've got your Ghost Block Cab, Ghost Pine Cab, Old Ghost Zinfandel, "The Monster" Zin, Vampire Syrah...truly, the list of spooky-sounding yet great-tasting wines is too long to count. Head into your local retailer and ask for the creepiest, tastiest bottle he's got and you're sure to be pleasantly surprised. Or use our exclusive wine.com coupon for some spooky savings and order online.

Important to note: the laws for shipping wine and spirits across the US are extremely complicated and vary by state. A great site for finding a particular wine or liquor in your home state is WineSearcher.com. Of course, if you can't find any beverages on my list nearby, you could always resort to the floating hand in the punchbowl. Pour some Mountain Dew in a rubber glove, tie the end with a rubber band, freeze it, remove the glove and presto, instant floating hand! Looks great.

For more great wine deals, follow me on Twitter @SavingsHSimas and make sure to check out our great Halloween coupons for savagely sinister savings.