Herding Cats: Verizon iPhone, Best of CES 2011 and Ferris Bueller

^{Image Courtesy of ICanHasCheezburger}

This is my last week filling in for the iHuppp, who has been busy binge drinking Guinness every day and night for over a week on the Emerald Isle. That would concern most people, but he's in law school so that kind of astronomical alcohol consumption is essential for sanity retention and survival.

Gizmodo: The Verizon iPhone Will Be Announced on January 11 - Welp, it's an HC faux pas, but we're starting off with double Giz posts because this sucker just broke less than fifteen minutes ago and already has over 10,000 hits. I'm locked into Android for the next year-and-a-half so I'm pretty indifferent towards this news, but I'm glad it's finally coming to fruition for no other reason than the fact that the tiresome Brett-Favre-retirement-esque era of swirling, baseless Verizon iPhone rumors will actually end. Ironically, AT&T's fake 4G network is going to be blazing fast a few months from now, because tens of millions of their customers are about to peace out.

Gizmodo: Some Of Tomorrow's Best Gadgets - A glut of new 3D TV models constitutes most of the cutting-edge electronics on display at this year's CES, but the coolest thing I've seen has to be this eCoupled Wireless Power charging surface that instantly cooks soup to your desired heating level in an instant. I would very much like to have one of those, both for culinary and pyrotechnic usage.

National Geographic: Land On "Goldilocks" Planet For Sale On eBay - Leave it to a couple of Americans to lay claim to something that in no way belongs to them and try to profit off it. Yeah, I know they're giving a "portion" of their fake alien land sales to "Students for the Exploration and Development of Space," but it's still an annoying thing to do. Hopefully Gliese 581g is really Omicron Persei 8, and Lrrr is already on his way to Earth to consume these two foolhardy entrepreneurs.

Born Rich: The Streets Of Monaco Luxury Yacht Has Its Own Go-Kart Circuit - I don't think I could possibly hate a domain name more than I hate "bornrich.org." I'll have to admit, however, pretty much every product they feature is awesome beyond belief. Anyone who actually purchases a $600,000 weeklong megayacht cruise or a Swarovski Crystal Rubber Duck should be shot in the face and their estate given to charity.

Small World News Service: James Bond 'Golden Gun' Replica Expected To Fetch £1,500 - In a related things-you-can't-afford story, how awesome would it be to hire an Asian midget to be your very own Nicknack and threaten people with an actual Golden Gun? This is making me all nostalgic... there was no truer test professional marksmanship than Golden Gun multi-player mode in Goldeneye 64, which, by the way, is unequivocally and incontrovertibly the greatest video game ever made.

Consumerist: You Should Definitely Buy Cameron's House From 'Ferris Bueller' - Real estate prices in other parts of the country are so adorable. Only $1.65 million for one of the most legendary residences in American cinematic history? If you airlifted it to Southern California you'd be lucky to get it for twice that price. Have I mentioned that my rent is too damn high?

NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!