Wacky Product of the Week: Kick-Ass Tools for the Modern Day Superhero

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That’s right folks, in honor of Kick-Ass opening nationwide (remember, it’s not for the kiddies, this is grown up stuper-zero shenanigans), this week’s wacky product of the week blog is all about how YOU can become your very own fighter of crime and righter of wrongs. (Disclaimer: Savings.com does not endorse the use or purchase of these ridiculous items, nor does the company encourage you to use what you find here to begin a career of super-villainy.)

That bit of “if you try this, it isn’t my fault” PC business out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.

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Now, most of us know that dressing up like Captain Catastrophe and haunting back alleys ala Kick-Ass looking for dangerous meth-heads or crazed gang-bangers to bring to justice is not the wisest thing to do. 80% of the time you’ll either end up beaten, shot, stabbed, or wetting yourself in a fit of oh-no-why-did-I-do-this panic. For those of us (uh, did I say us?) who think the other 20% is not too far fetched, we’ll need the right tools to carry out our foolish mission to rid the streets of nasty ne’er do wells.

Thanks to Tom (again) for the lead off item in our crime fighting arsenal. I suspect he’s already purchased one from the superhero underground in Gotham City. The Prometheus Device is a wrist mounted flamethrower that allows you to, well, throw flames. It’s actual make-up is way more complex than that, but I’ll let the creator explain it to you himself. (And yes, I do want one of these!.)

Next up on the radar-o-wacky are bullet-proof t-shirts. Yes, someone is actually conceiving of a lightweight way to transfer bullet-proof tech to the common t0shirt. Imagine the new line of Affliction gear being design to stop fists and .9mm rounds.

Take that Kal-El!

Still being researched by Xiaodong Li at the University of South Carolina, the hope is that they can successfully develop a shirt comprised of “a network of fibers–the approach taken by Kevlar–to “catch” the bullet, much like a hockey goalie catches a flying puck.” Sounds cool. I just don’t want to be the poor schmuck who is first in line for live testing.

I could go on for pages as the internet is filled with ridiculous crime-fighting tools developed by a veritable Justice League of dreamers residing in their sanctum santorums. (Also known as a comic-book shop.) So what do you think? Any crazy gadgets designed to stop the bad guys that you’ve come across lately and wish to discuss?

On another note, if you like graphic novels (also known as “comics” to those not trying to sound all cool and intellectual) that don’t take themselves too seriously and are a bit over-the-top violent with a real-world sensibility, check out Millar and JRJr’s Kick-Ass from Marvel. The first trade collecting issues 1-6 is out now.

As always, read further comic rants and tech opinions on Twitter @SavingsGCapes.

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  1. dstearns

    4 years ago

    I Need that flame thrower (capital N intended…)! Think of all the time it could save in the kitchen. BBQs could become such a breeze. In fact, world hunger could be alleviated 1 massive BBQ at a time. And I guess the bulletproof T would help ensure the cook-off never ended, as well. Hmm….

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  2. Yasarh

    4 years ago

    That flamethrower looks amazing. I’ll take 2.

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  3. guydc3

    4 years ago

    @Yasar: Yeah me too. I was serious about wanting one of these. It also looks perfect for taking out trolls. What? What did I say?

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