Balanced: Learning to Say "No" - Five Tips for the Overplanned

Looking up at the calendar I have on my wall near my desk, I see that the next five weekends are booked. I also have at least three things scheduled each week after working 40 hours a week. No wonder I'm stretched thin! One way to clear your schedule is to learn to say no. Sometimes I say "yes" because I feel guilty about not seeing my friends as often, sometimes I say "yes" because I think I'm Super-Woman and I can do everything. More often than not, I need to say "no."

By saying no to one invitation a week, my schedule opens time to take care of myself, to get the laundry done, or to go to bed before midnight every once in a while! I need to learn to say no. Do you?

1. Tell the inviter "Let me think about that and I'll get back to you." This gives you time to think about whether you really can commit that time. It also allows you to think about the positives and the negatives of accepting without pressure.
2. Be truthful with "I can't right now, my plate is overloaded." Most likely, the inviter will understand--his or her plate is probably just as overloaded. We are all busy people and there are only so many hours in the day.
3. Do you want to do what you've been invited to do but know that the timing is wrong? "This sounds great, but I don't have time right now. Can you check back in a week?" (or a month, or three years). This gives the inviter the opportunity to ask you again when the timing is right.
4. Is the cost prohibitive for you? "I'm sorry, I can't--that's not in my budget." You don't have to give the baby-shower pool $50 if you don't have it budgeted. I have personally used this technique and know that my friends understand. They also work to plan ahead so that I can budget things!
5. If someone asks you to do something (at work, for example) that you don't think you can handle, remind your boss "I don't want to take on what I can't fully commit to doing well." Not only does this show your boss that you put your effort into your jobs, it could lead to a conversation about what you could take on and do well.

Other things to remember:

• Keep your priorities in mind. A Saturday spent helping a colleague move is a Saturday you're away from your spouse or children.
• Only say yes to things you truly want to do. If you aren't wholeheartedly interested, why spend your time on it?
• Keep appointments you've made with yourself (staying in to read, soaking in the bath, catching up on reality TV).

What is your favorite way to say "no"?

When she's not writing for Savings.com, Sarah teaches health and science to high schoolers. You can also find Sarah at WEGO Health, where she is an advocate of improved health conditions for women and children of both the United States and globally and on her personal blog, Sarahndipitea.