The Tech-pert: Duke Nukem Forever Review - Come Get Some!

Duke Nukem. If you're male and over the age of 30, the very name evokes fond memories of rocket launchers, shrink rays, and a heavy helping of adolescent--make that juvenile--humor.

Indeed, back in 1996 (!), Duke Nukem 3D was the quintessential first-person shooter for the PC, a fun and funny antidote to more serious outings like Doom and Quake. I loved every minute of the game, and couldn't wait for the sequel.

But wait I would--for nearly 15 years.

One of gaming's most anticipated titles slowly devolved into the butt of endless jokes, aided in part by its increasingly ironic name, to the point where even die-hard fans finally stopped caring. In fact, in 2010, Duke Nukem Forever was finally cancelled outright, to the surprise and dismay of almost no one.

However, last September, Gearbox Software stepped in to not only pick up the pieces, but actually release the game. Now, less than a year later, Duke Nukem Forever has finally arrived, and there's only one question worth answering: Was it worth the wait?

Yes. Also, no. As a 42-year-old Duke fan who's weary of heavy-handed modern-era shooters, nearly all of which cast you as a zombie slayer or soldier of fortune, I was eager for some frivolous, throwback fun. And that's exactly what Duke Nukem Forever delivers.



Emphasis on the word "throwback." With its strung-together levels and uninspired plot (aliens are attacking the world--again!), the game feels like it was conceived in the late 90s. Oh, right: it was.

That's okay, but I really hated the way the developers cast Duke as a mega-celebrity who spends his days in the penthouse of a towering Trump-like casino. That might have worked when Duke was a celebrity--at least in the minds of gamers--but today it feels forced and awkward.

I won't divulge any additional plot points, such as they are, as half the fun in any game like this is discovering the mischief and mayhem along the way. Suffice it to say, Duke still spouts his amusingly macho quips, mixes with strippers, and destroys everything in sight. It's an entertaining trip down memory lane.

But it's also frustrating, mostly due to painfully long load times (at least on the Xbox 360 version, which is what I tested). It's bad enough to have to wait over a minute between levels, but DNF also hits you with an interminable load-screen every time you die. That sucks a significant amount fun out of the game.

I didn't get a chance to test DNF's multiplayer action, as the servers just went live this morning, but I'm hoping they add some much-needed replay value to the game.

And speaking of value, I can't recommend paying $60 for Duke Nukem Forever; it just doesn't offer enough new or innovative gameplay. But it's definitely worth renting, especially if you loved the original. And if you can wait six months or so, you'll be able to pick up a used copy for half the price. You've waited this long, right?

Self-proclaimed cheapskate Rick Broida has been a technology writer for over 20 years. He has authored over a dozen books, including, most recently, "How to Do Everything: Palm Pre." Currently he writes the Cheapskate blog.