What I’d Like the New Head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to Do

featured-image-3179733

Image by Richard Cordray (Wikipedia:Contact us/Photo submission) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

In a outlandish move, President Barack Obama enlisted Richard Cordray (someone just informed me that it WAS NOT Rob Corddry of the Daily Show, so perhaps it wasn’t an outlandish move on the President’s part after all…) as the new Head of Consumer Financial Protection Bureau on Wednesday January 4, 2011. I’m not exactly sure what a Head of Consumer Financial Protection (a lilting “HCFP” acronym) does, besides punish the bad bankers and financial players, but I do know what I want him to do for me personally. Image by Richard Cordray (Wikipedia:Contact us/Photo submission) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

In a outlandish move, President Barack Obama enlisted Richard Cordray (someone just informed me that it WAS NOT Rob Corddry of the Daily Show, so perhaps it wasn’t an outlandish move on the President’s part after all…) as the new Head of Consumer Financial Protection Bureau on Wednesday January 4, 2011. I’m not exactly sure what a Head of Consumer Financial Protection (a lilting “HCFP” acronym) does, besides punish the bad bankers and financial players, but I do know what I want him to do for me personally.

First, I need the Head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to take those drug commercials off the air. I don’t need my Oprah interspersed with those dumb commercials that remind me that I can easily cure “my depression” or “insatiable urge to use the bathroom” with nifty cartoon images and brand-name prices. I HAVE depression and I haven’t turned into a cutesy cartoon woman. The commercials clearly lie. Besides, I don’t need to know every single side effect that each drug has. Sure, that depression cure can treat me…or it can KILL ME! Medication is to be discussed with my doctor, not my television set.

Then, I need Richard Cordray to ban the practice of asking me if I want to open up a store credit card by each and every cashier everywhere I go. If the current economic crisis tells you anything, it’s NOT TO BUY THINGS ON CREDIT. So Richard Cordray needs to get on those stores to tell them to knock that off. I don’t need to feel I’ve ruined the cashier’s day–or broken their heart–each time I politely decline another credit card offer.

While we’re on the topic of solicitation of my money, I think that the new Head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau needs to put an end to those really official-looking mailings I get every day from “mortgage” agencies telling me how much money I could save if I only switched. And sent them all my information, naturally. I hate them not because I hate having to toss out more junk mail, but because I know somewhere, someone thinks their “third official notice” is real and gets scammed. That just makes me Furious George.

Lastly, I think that Richard Cordray–NOT Rob Corddry–needs to fix our money. Why, oh why do pennies still exist? Do they exist so I can carry around a purse so full of change that it screams, “MUG ME?” Because that’s how it feels. (As a sidebar, if I am mugged, the bad guy will get a nice handsome a handful of pennies…)

I don’t believe that my requests of our new HCFP are too out of the realm of possibility. I’m certain that Richard Cordray will find them my requests both reasonable and do-able. I look forward to that day.

So what would YOU have Richard Cordray, New Head of Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, do?

Comments (26)

Leave A Comment

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. benjamindsearle

    3 years ago

    If it were me, I’d prefer Rob Corddry. He at least would make the job amusing. Then I’d feel like something was coming to me out of the deal.

    Comment
  2. mpekinjay

    3 years ago

    I totally agree about not discussing your medical treatment with your television sets. It leaves the populous grossly under-informed. However, I have to say that my for-fun money comes out of my penny collection that I roll up every now and again so you may have lost me there ;)

    Comment
  3. mpekinjay

    3 years ago

    I keep reading it as Corduroy.

    Comment
  4. Appletini_Lover

    3 years ago

    I think he also needs to have the ACTUAL price of items you purchase on credit or with loans charged to you at the time of the transaction.

    “Your total is $200.50. Will this be cash or credit?”

    “Credit.”

    “Excellent…your new total since you will only pay the minimum payments will be 450.67 and you will be paying on this item for the next 6 years cause your interest rate is so high. Would you like to open a (insert store name) card today? We can get that down to 4 years and your total would be 351.83?”

    I think we should have to see the totals on credit cards much like we see calories on items when we go to McDonalds. Wait, never mind.

    Mr Cordray…GET RID OF CALORIE INFORMATION AT MCDONALDS!!

    Comment
  5. jana0926

    3 years ago

    Pennies and dollar coins should go away.

    Comment
  6. CathiC2

    3 years ago

    You write up the petitions for those items, and I’ll get you signatures. As for me, Mr. Cordray, please tell the credit card companies to STOP sending me checks to use when “only a check will do”. When the hell is that exactly? Checks are for paying credit cards OFF, not racking up 45% APR in interest charges.
    Oh, and pennies are for the kids – they think they’re rich when they’ve got a bazillion of them rolling around.

    Comment
  7. TiLaMiLa

    3 years ago

    My sentiments exactly.

    Comment
  8. aryka.chapman

    3 years ago

    I keep seeing “Corday” and think its the hot british doctor on ER. Oh wait. That wasnt the question ? Sorry.

    Comment
  9. CycleNinja

    3 years ago

    Dunno if this has any truth, but Bill Maher once noted that some lobby for coin-operated laundromat owners squashed a bill to change the metal content in our coins (to save on the cost of producing coins, bringing them closer to actual monetary value). It’s a simple country: We have the best politicians money can buy.

    Comment
  10. SarahBeeC

    3 years ago

    I think the penny is on its merry way out anyway. I remember seeing something about that. They cost more than a penny to make anyhow, so it really makes no sense.
    Squash the white-collar bankers who scammed hard-working people and punish them the way they punish blue-collar workers for doing far less damaging acts.
    I love the idea of stopping the credit card offers and the Final Notice things which cause my anxiety to go sky-high. Those companies require their employees to offer the cards and may even fire them for not closing the sale with enough of them. This is completely backwards if we are to get the economy back on track for the long term.

    Comment
  11. gucked

    3 years ago

    I’d like him to stop the “Bank of Jonesing” sketchy Check Cashing places in poor neighborhoods, or at least make them operate in the realm of not loan shark territory rates, payday loan, car title places by doing something to get people access to real banking, like credit unions or “hey, you took the bailout, now return the favor to the American people by giving people who don’t have direct deposit access to a checking and savings account.”

    I’d like him to do real truth in lending so people can understand the terms of student loans and credit cards, find a use for mortgage brokers besides lying on applications and driving people to the most profitable loans, allow people who live in cities but don’t have millions of dollars to buy municipal bonds so that we own our own communities rather than having to go through big mutual funds to do it and clearly divide investment houses from banks so its really, really clear what’s FDIC insured and what isn’t.

    Also, make Cracker Jack give real toy surprises again. A folding head of George Washington isn’t a surprise.

    Comment
  12. MagandMoo

    3 years ago

    I’d like to see nickels go away. Pennies don’t bother me. Also, I’d like to see programs for child-free, single people become available. We are the last forgotten recipients. Of anything.

    I think cable companies should not be allowed to charge $80/mo (minimum) so that we can watch television.

    Comment
  13. akisawana

    3 years ago

    I agree with you on the prescription commercials. I think they’re not allowed in Europe.

    And seriously, store credit cards need to go, or at least it should be illegal to fire someone for not conning a minimum number of people into signing up.

    Comment
  14. impala61

    3 years ago

    Tell ‘em Aunt Becky! I like to shock the cashiers and pay with my debit card not the store “get me into debt” card. Americans have confused the definitions of the terms paid for and financed. We need to go old school and relearn budgeting and saving!

    Comment
  15. serial_writer

    3 years ago

    Shiny pennies are pretty. I hope if I mug someone I get a handful of pennies.

    Comment
  16. lucidlotus

    3 years ago

    Somehow I think we’d all be better off with Rob Corddry at the helm. As long he was backed, as always, by Jon Stewart.
    And down with change! Except for pennies, which I need by the handful for my toddler to slide down the slots of those roll-y things at the zoo. I like actually watching my money circle the drain.

    Comment
  17. ChuckG

    3 years ago

    I’d ask him to lend me $20, just saying.

    Comment
  18. kristinebrite

    3 years ago

    YES! The drug commercials. gah.

    Comment
  19. KarenMarrs

    3 years ago

    I hear you on the store credit card one! I got in so much trouble at my old cashier job for not asking.

    Comment
  20. OriginalWacky

    3 years ago

    I would love to see things like loans and lending get fixed up. And to understand how credit scores work.

    Comment
  21. FromTracie

    3 years ago

    Those dollar coins are the most annoying things. My husband likes them, and I know I’ve used them more than once to pay for something, thinking they were a quarter, and not being corrected by the cashier.

    So if he could refund all the instances of lost 75 cents I’ve endured, that would be great.

    Comment
  22. mooivrouw

    3 years ago

    Pennies need to go away. And dimes need to be bigger. Because those silly things get lost too easy. And while he’s getting rid of things that tear at my heartstrings making me want to spend all my money, can he nix all those animal shelter commercials with the sad eyes and music? Don’t get me wrong, I love animals. My cat who hates everyone is a shelter cat, and I love her to bits. But every time I see those commercials I want to adopt about 15 more animals, and then how would I pay the electric bill?!

    Comment
  23. OriginalWacky

    3 years ago

    You know what else? I agree that pennies should be gone finally. And prices should include taxes if they apply, so we don’t have to try to figure that all out while shopping.

    Comment
  24. OriginalWacky

    3 years ago

    After watching TV this evening, and listening to all those awful commercials for drugs, I am in complete agreement that we need to get those off the air. Ugh!

    Comment
  25. mooivrouw

    3 years ago

    Yes! Taxes should be included in the listed prices. It’s so frustrating trying to sort it out. It’s the reason I never carry cash anymore. I never know if I have enough cash for what I need. I get that taxes exist, but just tell me what I owe total please.

    Comment
  26. Samston

    3 years ago

    Resign!

    Comment
SCRATCH DEBUG :: not set