What I'd Like the New Head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to Do
Image by Richard Cordray (Wikipedia:Contact us/Photo submission) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
In a outlandish move, President Barack Obama enlisted Richard Cordray (someone just informed me that it WAS NOT Rob Corddry of the Daily Show, so perhaps it wasn't an outlandish move on the President's part after all...
) as the new Head of Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
on Wednesday January 4, 2011. I'm not exactly sure what a Head of Consumer Financial Protection (a lilting "HCFP" acronym
) does, besides punish the bad bankers and financial players, but I do know what I want him to do for me personally.
First, I need the Head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to take those drug commercials off the air. I don't need my Oprah interspersed with those dumb commercials that remind me that I can easily cure "my depression" or "insatiable urge to use the bathroom" with nifty cartoon images and brand-name prices. I HAVE depression and I haven't turned into a cutesy cartoon woman. The commercials clearly lie. Besides, I don't need to know every single side effect that each drug has. Sure, that depression cure can treat me...or it can KILL ME! Medication is to be discussed with my doctor, not my television set.
Then, I need Richard Cordray to ban the practice of asking me if I want to open up a store credit card by each and every cashier everywhere I go. If the current economic crisis tells you anything, it's NOT TO BUY THINGS ON CREDIT. So Richard Cordray needs to get on those stores to tell them to knock that off. I don't need to feel I've ruined the cashier's day--or broken their heart--each time I politely decline another credit card offer.
While we're on the topic of solicitation of my money, I think that the new Head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau needs to put an end to those really official-looking mailings I get every day from "mortgage" agencies telling me how much money I could save if I only switched. And sent them all my information, naturally. I hate them not because I hate having to toss out more junk mail, but because I know somewhere, someone thinks their "third official notice" is real and gets scammed. That just makes me Furious George.
Lastly, I think that Richard Cordray--NOT Rob Corddry--needs to fix our money. Why, oh why do pennies still exist? Do they exist so I can carry around a purse so full of change that it screams, "MUG ME?" Because that's how it feels. (As a sidebar, if I am mugged, the bad guy will get a nice handsome a handful of pennies...
I don't believe that my requests of our new HCFP are too out of the realm of possibility. I'm certain that Richard Cordray will find them my requests both reasonable and do-able. I look forward to that day.
So what would YOU have Richard Cordray, New Head of Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, do?