So you got the Facebook message from your home-town pal that we all dread – ‘I’m coming to LA! Can’t wait to hang out with you! HOLLYWOOD BABY!’, and you immediately begin to rig up an elaborate lie about how you are ‘so happy they’re coming out but you will probably be super busy that weekend’ because you don’t have the heart to show them your glamorous lifestyle involves attaching a pink mustache to your car to make money before you go home to your sad studio apartment in Glendale above an Armenian bakery. Fear not, we’re here to give you some insider tips into tricking your friends into thinking you are way cooler than you actually are while they’re here on their trip.
1. Lay Out Poolside As You Overlook The City
The Standard downtown is one of LA’s hottest hotels and night spots, and is also home to a rooftop pool which, for some inexplicable reason, is open to the public. That’s right, for no money at all you too can feel self conscious about your Midwest body type while some of the cities most attractive and unemployed people lay out and drink cocktails nearby. Get there early to snag a bodega, which will not only shield you from the sun’s harsh rays, but give you a chance to lay on a waterbed just like weekends at your old Uncle Jack’s place. Bring along your own picnic and make a day of it, or splurge on the delicious brats in their Biergarden.