Megan Koester

A Cheap-Ass Guide to Looking Like a Girl

Manicure process... Female hands...
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

The patriarchy says I gotta look glam or folks’ll give me guff. Well guess what, wise guys? I’ll play your sick game, but if you think I’m spending any more than the bare minimum in the process, you’re out of your mind. Thankfully, looking halfway presentable doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. […]

How Groupon Helped Me Afford a Staycation I Didn’t Earn

Taking A Stay-cation
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

Listen, I don’t make vacation money — I make “go to the beach and pretend like I didn’t drive only twenty minutes to get there” money. The closest I’ve come in recent memory to an honest-to-goodness holiday entailed taking a $129 cruise for this here website, with harrowing results. I’m not a particularly hard worker; […]

Subscription Meal Services Are a Waste of Time and Money

Rice grains on bank note
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

When I was a kid, my mother’s version of a home-cooked meal entailed frying individual slices of ham and serving them alongside Minute Rice, or smothering chicken breasts in marinara sauce and artlessly topping them with canned black olives. If this is cooking, I thought, I want no part of it. As a result, I […]

Three Hours of Cheap HomeJoy House Cleaning Gave Me Back My Self-Respect

Three Hours of Cheap House Cleaning Gave Me Back My Self-Respect

Alternatively you could just get something to cover your dirty windows at Blinds.com

Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

The thought of paying another human being to clean the microscopically small room I call an apartment has seemed, for the entirety of my adult life, utterly beyond the realm of possibility. I don’t make “house cleaning” money; I don’t even make “use a tea bag only once” money. In my mind, house cleaning was […]

What You Get on an Outrageously Cheap Cruise

"Frown Periscope"
"Frown Periscope"
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

In a world where you cannot get a bug-free hotel room for less than $75 a night, and a meal that doesn’t consist of GMOs covered in MSG cannot be purchased for less than $20, I found myself incredulously staring at Princess Cruises’ website: They were selling two-day, three-night cruises to Mexico for $129 per person. […]

Stop Throwing Your Money Away on Life’s Necessities

Trash can with money in it
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

Look at you, sitting on the IKEA futon you didn’t buy off Craigslist, reading this via a WiFi connection you’re not stealing from your upstairs neighbor. Tsk, tsk. What are you, the Queen of England? Stop acting like you’re richer than you are! (Note: If you actually are the Queen of England, my apologies. And […]

How to Ride the Megabus Without Losing Your Mind

Good advice anywhere
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

Traveling by bus is one the least glamorous ways to get to a destination, second only to sitting on the handlebars of a BMX bike piloted by someone way too old to be doing so. What you sacrifice in style by riding the bus, though, you more than make up for in price — if […]

A Guide to the Cheapest Glasses on the Internet (About $20 or Less)

This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

I haven’t worn glasses in years, even though I definitely should, for the simple fact that I couldn’t afford a new prescription. Once my Medi-Cal kicked in, however, you best believe I got myself a script. Since the eye exam was free, I decided it was high time to take the first step toward being […]

How to Do a Romantic Anniversary Dinner on The Cheap

Megan Anniversary Video
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

Just because you can’t afford most of the finer things in life doesn’t mean you can’t afford the finest–love. Love is, indeed, the greatest bargain of all, clocking in at a grand total of $0. While love may be free, anniversary dinners sure aren’t. You don’t need to make it rain in order to romantically celebrate the love of you […]

Battle of the 24-Hour Lipsticks

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

My main quibble with lipstick is the fact that it doesn’t permanently stick to your lips. I pretend like my “go, go, go” lifestyle prevents me from reapplying it, but the reality of the matter is that I’m insufferably lazy. As a result, I’ve been wearing long-wear lipsticks for years; frankly, they’re all I wear. […]

Premium Green Juices: Are They Worth Their Premium Price Tags?

Green Juice Scratch
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

“Going green” has become the new norm. It seems like everyone I know is now a fan of organic produce, free-range eggs and sustainably manufactured yoga pants. Nowhere is this fact more evident than in the case of fancypants juices. You’ve seen them around, listed on the chalkboards of coffee shops and clutched in the […]

How to Eat on $20 a Week and Not Die

Side view of young woman opening oven door
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

If you’re anything like me, you’re broke. Just because we can’t afford the finer things in life–fancy cars, exotic vacations, health care–doesn’t mean we have to starve to death, though. Not only is spending a mere $20 a week on groceries possible, it’s also probably a lot healthier than your current diet. Follow these tips […]

On the Cheap with Megan Koester: The Big Night Out

Megan Big Night Scratch
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

Need to look gorgeous for a hot night out but don’t have the cash-ola necessary to make your designer dreams a reality? No sweat, sweetie! Just go to the mall, slap on a face of free makeup, “borrow” a dress, and strut on down to your destination. You’ll be beautiful on a budget…of $0! TRANSCRIPTSpeaker […]

Try On Your Perfect Bra At Home With True&Co

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Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

There are few things in this world less comfortable than an uncomfortable bra. Childbirth, while I’ve never experienced it, seems as though it would be more unpleasant than the sensation of an insufferably tight brassiere digging into your shoulder flesh like a toddler burrowing into wet sand. Pretty much any other painful event a woman can experience, however, pales in comparison.

Finding a suitable over the shoulder boulder holder is a must for any comely lass who doesn’t want to suffer a life of misery. If you’re tired of being victimized by your hooter holsters, online retailer True&Co claims to have the solution. They’re all about helping you “find the perfect fit.” They promise to do so with “no fitting rooms” and “no measuring tape.” You may ask yourself, “How the hell is that possible?” It being 2014 and all, the answer’s simple: Via a confusing, over-stylized website!

Menstrual Period Subscription Boxes Are, Apparently, a Thing (and a Waste of Money)

period box
Written By:Author Megan KoesterMegan Koester

I have been menstruating for over half my life. I’m used to it. I’m, dare I say, pretty good at it. The monthly act of going to the drug store and buying my tampons, cramp meds and assorted accouterments that no longer faze me like it did when I was fifteen. I don’t think there’s anything unusual about the ease with which I deal with the emotional terrorist that is Aunt Flo.

But if I were the sort of woman who, let’s say, wasn’t comfortable getting their Tampax rung up by a bored-looking teenage clerk in a primary colored vest, I could get a period subscription box, filled with a combination of feminine protection products and sweets, delivered to me in a plain, unmarked receptacle once a month. That’s right—the subscription box trend has expanded to the realm of reproduction. But are they worth it? I sent away for a few of them to find out.

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