Nick von Keller

8 Unusual Ways To Keep Warm as the Blizzard Engulfs Everything You Hold Dear

The icy hand of death cares not for your car.

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller1.27.15 I live in Los Angeles where it’s 72 and sunny almost every day, and all I have to put up with in return is traffic, the constant fear of earthquakes, and the even more constant fear of being invited to an improv show. But for the rest of you poor […]

You Should Bank With Charles Schwab

Photo by Mike Mozart, via Flickr.

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller1.23.15 My bank is better than your bank. Let me explain. Several years ago a friend recommended I close my Wells Fargo account and instead use Charles Schwab for my primary checking account. I said, “Please stop referring to yourself as my friend, and is this the same Charles Schwab who […]

Cheap Movie Tickets, AKA My Journey To The Bottom

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller1.20.15 We all have our addictions – coffee, Candy Crush, meth. For me, it’s going to the movies. I wake up in the morning and I feel that itch. I need sticky floors and dated CG intro videos and people who say the seat beside them is taken when everybody knows […]

Cheap Items You Should Never Travel Without

Hitchhiking person

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller1.15.15 I’ve done my fair share of international travel, which is a snottier sounding phrase than I intended, but here are a few inexpensive items I always find room for in my suitcase: Plug Adapter While hair dryers and curling irons require bulky voltage converters to work overseas, your lifeline gadgets […]

6 Things You Will Never Be Able To Afford

Think you can afford this meat pie? You are thinking incorrectly.

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller1.08.15 It’s important to have goals in life. I still remember the inspirational poster that hung in my high school gym – “Shoot For The Moon, If You Miss You’ll Land Amongst.” The rest of the poster was cut off by a field hockey net, but I can only assume it […]

When Can You Ignore The Expiration Date?

Pizza dog

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller1.02.15 Here’s a dirty little secret – expiration dates are baloney (including the expiration dates on baloney). They exist primarily to protect the reputation of the food and have very little to do with food safety. Companies use expiration dates to ensure their products taste as fresh as possible, and possibly […]

To Steal or Not to Steal: The Ethics of Piracy

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller12.18.14 For a change of pace, I decided to write about something that actually matters to me, so I apologize in advance for the lack of jokes.  To make up for it, here’s one: What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.  Now on […]

First Class Sucks

So very crowded

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller12.03.14 I don’t think many people consider me a man of class. I use a sniff test to determine my shirts’ cleanliness. I’ve been known to buy $10 supermarket cakes and lick off the icing. Once I even went to Tampa. So it came as quite a surprise when, on a […]

Pet Insurance Explained

Rottweiler Puppy Injured Paw

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller10.27.14 People love their pets. A lot. Here in Los Angeles, for example, the spectrum runs from “My pet has its own Instagram account” to “My pet models for its own line of silk-screen couture.” And with the money people are willing to shell out for doggie sunglasses and kitty fire […]

How to Make Your Favorite Halloween Candies at Home

Colourful Studio Shot of Funny Woman.

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller10.20.14 It’s happened to all of us: 3 AM, you’re bored, you’re poor, you’re lazy, you’re hungry, and you say, “Why go out and buy a candy bar like some common lowlife when I can make one?” No? Just me? Oh well. But leave it to my old friend the Internet […]

6 Terrible Kickstarter Campaigns Not Worth Your Money

Crowdfunding concept

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller10.13.14 Crowdfunding has given us some wonderful things – a gun that shoots salt at bugs (aka your friends), a wristwatch you’re not cool enough to pull off, and even a new reason to make fun of Zach Braff. But how do you sort through the tens of thousands of graphic novels, […]

Coupon Fraud: A Fun New Take On Crime

Handcuffs on hands holding money

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller10.06.14 It’s called glitching. And, much like the dance craze twerking, it’s sweeping the nation. The only difference is, instead of thrusting your hips while in a low, squatting stance, you exploit errors in barcode scanners to buy one product with the coupon for another, and then later you get arrested […]

Four Ways To Say You’re Sorry Without Breaking The Bank

I am sorry message

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller9.29.14 So you messed up. You forgot your significant other’s birthday. Or you spilled the beans after he swore you to secrecy. Or you accidentally promised her kidney to someone else to pay off your student loans. Either way, you’re in the doghouse, and a simple “I’m sorry” just isn’t going […]

Cheap Ways To Speed Up Your PC

Guy Sleeping at Computer Scratch

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller9.22.14 Is there anything sexier than turning on a new computer and watching it boot up in seconds? Well, yes, hundreds of things, but I don’t get out much, so let’s stick to the topic at hand. A few years of use will turn your sleek, racy 90s Val Kilmer of […]

Ditch Your Pricey Gym Membership for These Top Alternatives

Alternatives to gym memberships scratch

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Author Nick von KellerNick von Keller

Written By: Nick von Keller9.15.14 Is there a way to tone your arms and legs without it costing an arm and a leg? Can you trim the fat while trimming your budget? Could this wordplay get any worse? The answers to these questions are yes, yes, and God I hope not. Here are a handful […]

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