I am writing on behalf of Savings.com, a coupon and deal website that helps people save money at thousands of retailers. In these economic times, while we’re focused more than ever on helping consumers save at their favorite stores, it’s come to our attention that another American institution may need saving: the Thanksgiving turkey pardoned each year by the President of The United States.
LOS ANGELES – Citing an unquenchable desire to get the best holiday deals, Los Angeles couple Finn and Laurie Thompson secured the first spot in line for Black Friday at an area Best Buy. Despite the fact that the annual day of discounting is nearly eight months away, the Thompsons were inspired by “HolidApril,” a concept put forth by coupon site Savings.com suggesting that the 2013 holiday shopping season should and would start immediately after Easter.
The Thompsons exuded messianic certainty that living outside a big box store in a tent was the only reliable way to secure access to the best deals. “When I’m on my deathbed and somebody asks ‘Did you do everything in your power to get 80% off a 56′ Panasonic TC-PVT50 HD 1080p UberPlasma TV’ I want to the answer to be yes,” stammered an emotional Finn Thompson. “Plus last year I tore my ACL rib-kicking the gentleman in front of me when the doors opened, and our health insurance doesn’t cover injuries to the extremities.”
April is the cruelest month. But there’s no reason it can’t be the jolliest! One consistent piece of feedback we’ve been gotten from our audience is that the holiday shopping season is WAY too short. Why confine such a festive and relaxing occasion to just one month a year? Our Savings Scientists looked into the matter and the bubbling solution they concocted in our state-of-the-art Deal Lab is finally ready for public consumption. We’re proud to present HolidApril!
So get your bells on, spike up a big batch of eggnog, unsheathe your credit card, and get ready to sing some Fa La Las. Because we’re going to teach you about the 268 days of Christmas. You’re welcome.