Celebrate America with Patriotic Stuff Made in Foreign Countries
America. USA. ‘Merica. No matter how you say it, you probably love our country and you get super excited for its birthday. Not like those jerks, the (insert political party you don’t like) hanging out in those (Northern/Eastern/Southern/Western) states that just don’t understand what this country is all about, right? Not like you and your fellow (insert affiliation you do like) types. And like every red-blooded American you’re excited to get to show that love. You can do it, and you can do it on almost any budget. Here’s just a few great examples.
Firecrackers: There is truly no more American way to celebrate our Nation’s birthday than these noisemakers. Originally crafted around 200 B.C. in China, they have crossed the millennia before ending up in their rightful place right here. You don’t need to go to any sort of fancy fireworks show in a nearby public park and possibly pay for a gyro or some pizza out of a trailer. Not when you can grab a box of these bad boys in a nice cellophane wrapped package right next to almost literally any cash register you’ll be in the vicinity of for the first week of July. I found this set at my local pharmacy for prices as low as $1.99, just ready to almost perfectly simulate fun.
Old Navy American Flag T-Shirts: Continuing their time-honored tradition of specialty holiday shirts for other national holidays like St. Patrick’s Day and Christmas, Old Navy has offered up a special deal for American Flag themed t-shirts for the whole family, starting at just $4. Plus since they’re imported, you know that no Americans had to spend their time making them! Woohoo! Day off!
Flags: What could be more American than the American Flag? Those loveable stars and stripes that we planted when we colonized the moon can be yours for just $9.99 at Amazon.com, ready for you to display so everyone in your neighborhood can see. Made in China, you know these will be durable and that these colors won’t bleed.
The Patriot: For those who loved Braveheart but wished it had been set in America, The Patriot is a DVD or digital download worth having in their collection. Depending on your medium, you can snag this film for prices ranging from $5.49-$12.99. Starring American- to-Australian-and-back transplant Mel Gibson, Australian native Heath Ledger and directed by German-born event film master Roland Emmerich, The Patriot is an exciting way to vicariously live through the American Revolution.
Assassin’s Creed III: Don’t just want to watch the Revolution and prefer to take an active hand? This third chapter in the popular video game series, developed by Ubisoft Montreal, allows you to slip in and out of history, partaking in famous battles and even riding in place of Paul Revere. You can find this game retailing at $19.99.
Fly to Washington DC: Got more money to spend? Why not celebrate your weekend by making a trip out to our nation’s capitol to check out all that fancy Classic Greek architecture and get your jingoism on. Why not fly in patriotic style with either American Airlines, or Virgin American, the U.S.A’s branch of Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Airlines.
Don’t let this list be a limit, there’s plenty of other exciting ways to love America. So fire up that grill, toss on some frankfurters and hamburgers, add in some ketchup and french yellow mustard and enjoy the holiday!
Rye Silverman is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles. Rye has been seen on the Fusion channel, is a contributor to the Huffington Post and runs a blog about style, pop culture, and gender called Chick Like Me.