On the Cheap with Megan Koester: The Big Night Out
Need to look gorgeous for a hot night out but don’t have the cash-ola necessary to make your designer dreams a reality? No sweat, sweetie! Just go to the mall, slap on a face of free makeup, “borrow” a dress, and strut on down to your destination. You’ll be beautiful on a budget…of $0!
Speaker #1: You want to have a big fancy night out, but you don’t want to spend all your clams. Here’s a couple of tips from us gals on how to save some money and have a great night out.
Speaker #2: You’re going to want to look beautiful for your date, but you don’t know what to do about it because you don’t have any money. That’s OK, you should just go in Sephora and you should just put on the makeup that they have there. Look at how beautiful you are. You’re a beautiful person who’s ready to go on a beautiful date, and you didn’t spend any money on the makeup you just put on when you went in Sephora by yourself and put it on by yourself. You’re good.
Speaker #1: Now you’re going to want to wear a hot outfit. My recommendation is going in Nordstrom’s because they have a super chill return policy where you can just buy something, keep the tag and the receipt, and then just return it after your hot night out. You know what’s even more fun is trying stuff on. Look at you go.
Speaker #2: Once you’ve found the right dress you’ll know it. It will fit like a glove and look beautiful on you, so why don’t you just buy it. I mean, you’re going to return it anyway.
Speaker #1: Now that you’ve “purchased” everything you need for the night go ahead and find the nearest public restroom and just change in there. No one will even notice, and it will save you time.
Speaker #2: Bonus tip: be sure to pick up some perfume samples on the way out of that store. Just rub it all over your body and smell like a queen.
Speaker #1: Now that you’re looking a smelling your best it’s time to find a date, but you know what? They’ll probably find you on account of you looking so good and everything and smelling so good. The best part is you didn’t spend any money at all, so that means that you have more money to, you know, go out to eat or have some drinks or maybe even both with your date especially if it’s happy hour. Then it will be even cheaper. That’s pretty cool, right? Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker #2: Now that you’ve got all glammed up go to an exotic restaurant nearby with your new friend, but please, make sure not to spill anything on that fancy dress because you will have to return it the day after.
Speaker #1: Well, I just went to this restaurant and that was bad. He said, “Why?”. I said. “Because every time I get a cobb salad it’s the same and then this one didn’t have any cobbs in it.”
Speaker #2: What?
Megan Koester is a writer and comedian living in–wait for it–Los Angeles. You can follow her on Twitter @bornferal.