Fit-uation: Alternatives to Abercrombie and Fitch for the Cast of Jersey Shore

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Image by GuillermoQuezada via Flickr

Abercrombie & Fitch divorced Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. Mind you, they were never married. Mike wore Abercrombie clothes on the very popular Jersey Shore reality series. However, A&F was not bubbling over at the free publicity due to the cast’s endless nights of partying and frequent fighting on the show. According to their recent press release, “…association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image.” Uh, right, as though A&F did not have issues in the past with their reputation.

A&F in turn offered to pay Sorrentino not to wear their clothing line. Mike cannot go through the entire season shirtless (bet the women who watch Jersey Shore disagree). Sorrentino needs a new clothing line to exploit wear.

What clothing brand should “The Situation” get into this time? Armani

When you think of Armani, you immediately imagine clothes fitted and trendy, higher quality more expensive than A&E. Definitely a step-up for “The Situation.” Not sure, however, if Armani would welcome the Jersey Shore’s cast donning their clothes during a wild in-house party wearing “AX” logo on their chests.

Michael Kors

Kors men’s clothing line carries sweaters, knit tops, shirts, jeans, shorts, jackets, outerwear, watches and cologne. Sorrentino could easily pull off a sexy Kors outfit. However, what would fashion designer Michael Kors think about the “unfashionable” publicity the Jersey Shore cast sinks into week in and week out.

Ed Hardy

Tattoo-styled clothing line for the young and rebellious. You would think that Sorrentino would fit perfectly with skull and crossbones t-shirts. Unfortunately, during any photo opportunity Sorrentino will lift up his t-shirt to show off his abs. That is a waste of a good Ed Hardy t-shirt.

Calvin Klein

This line carries anything and everything a man could want to wear: suits, ties, t-shirts, sweaters, underwear, hats, scarves and even sunglasses. Visualize Sorrentino in uber-dressy Klein shirt unbuttoned all the way down to his navel. Fashionably wrong on so many levels…

Hanes

Keep it simple. Since Sorrentino has this uncontrollable exhibitionist urge to reveal his washboard abs, he should wear a Hanes undershirt. Dumb down your dress, wear Sorrentino. You cannot possibly go wrong.

What brand do you think “The Situation” and the rest of the Jersey Shore cast should wear instead of Abercrombie & Fitch?

Charli “Chuck” Gulley is a screenwriter, filmmaker and freelance writer who lives in Southern California. Quite the tomboy, she enjoys Rugby, Fencing and touch football. She’s an alumnus of the prestigious screenwriter’s workshop, “Writers Bootcamp.” Her passion is Hollywood, anything and everything to do with filmmaking. If you don’t find her on set, you can find her at the arcade playing air hockey and eating pizza.

Comments (8)

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  1. pmiller

    3 years ago

    Ed Hardy seems like a pretty safe bet to me. Or he could wear Ed Hardy knockoffs from Target or wherever. Somehow that seems more fitting.

    Comment
  2. ChuckG

    3 years ago

    @pmiller – Oh my goodness! I should have thought of that – knockoffs. That would be perfect!

    Comment
  3. jmediodia

    3 years ago

    Tapout – just saw him getting beat up by Ron in the Jersey Shore episode!

    Comment
  4. ChuckG

    3 years ago

    @jmediodia – oh, sweetheart, you lost me at “Jersey Shore” episode. I tried to watch a little of it once, my brain slipped sideways.

    Comment
  5. ashleywade

    3 years ago

    “Unfortunately, during any photo opportunity Sorrentino will lift up his t-shirt to show off his abs. That is a waste of a good Ed Hardy t-shirt.”

    Is there really such a thing as a good Ed Hardy shirt?

    Comment
  6. ChuckG

    3 years ago

    @awade22 – oooo, I like some of Ed Hardy, not all. Skull and crossbones give me the creeps. But yes, there are some nice t-shirts. I had one with a beautiful dragon (like a tatoo) on front of a peach jersey shirt. Got lots of compliments.

    Comment
  7. APG2929

    3 years ago

    The bi**ch that “The Situation” is should wear clothes bought at Marshalls at best!

    Comment
  8. genti dama plic

    4 weeks ago

    Hi there to all, how is the whole thing, I think every one is
    gettung more from this site, and your views are good for new viewers.

    Comment
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