Our “Dear John” Letter to the State of California

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Dear California,

We’re terribly sorry to have to do this but we’re no longer a good match for each other. And trust us when we say it’s you, not us…we just can’t afford you anymore. Ever since you and your new BFF–the Affiliate Nexus Tax–started hanging out, people just don’t want to do as much business with us anymore. Sure, we know it seems only fair that online retailers without a physical presence in California should have to collect sales taxes from their customers just like everyone else. The problem is, until every other state–or the federal government–feels the same way, companies like Amazon.com, Overstock and others have decided that it’s not worth working with us (or 25,000 other California-based businesses) anymore. Apparently, in your eyes, our affiliate relationship makes them liable for collecting taxes. They’ve decided it makes better sense to just work with affiliates beyond your, admittedly still picturesque, borders.

We know this letter might come as a bit of a shock–especially because things had been going so well between us. Last year alone we helped drive $400 million in sales and we’ve doubled the number of California jobs we provide year-after-year. And people started to notice: the LA Business Journal named us a “Best Place to Work in Los Angeles” and then Inc. Magazine just named us one of the “500 Fastest Growing Companies in 2011.” So what went wrong?

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Well, you’re a Pisces, we’re a Gemini. And maybe we’re just being sensitive–like the time we asked you what color our eyes were and you said “white”–but we can either stick with you and try to weather the loss in revenue during these already fragile times, or we can start considering some of the offers from the other states that changed their feelings about affiliate companies like us. Sure, we’d miss you (you are still gorgeous after all) but maybe some clean Rocky Mountain air, or the sound of crashing surf on The North Shore, would be refreshing. Don’t worry, you could keep the futon, VCR player and Charoodles–but our 100+ employees and the state income taxes they pay each year would be coming along with us.

Now, please, don’t be bitter. We’d still want to be friends of a friend, even if we were, like, totally on opposite coasts. We had some good times, or so we think (FYI, we don’t even care about the Napa Zinfandel you spilled on our throw pillow anymore). Hopefully you feel the same way. So, if you’re still interested in us, here’s a good place to go for information on how we might able to work things out: getbackinbusiness.org.

In the meantime, take care of yourself–and don’t forget to water the ficus.

All the best,
Savings.com

P.S. Our friend the LA Times told us that Amazon says they’re not even going to pay the sales taxes you say they owe :(

Comments (20)

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  1. ashleywade

    3 years ago

    Can’t we just be friends?

    Comment
  2. ebbeszoo

    3 years ago

    that’s what I’ve been wondering all along, awade22!

    Comment
  3. DonnaFreedman

    3 years ago

    Come to Seattle!

    Comment
  4. ChuckG

    3 years ago

    It rains a lot in Seattle! Even the film community is filmming where they can get breaks on taxes and such. What is wrong with this state? Seriously! I can’t believe you guys would leave Santa Monica. It’s so beautiful there.

    Comment
  5. ebbeszoo

    3 years ago

    I have family in Seatle and whenever I have visited (two to three weeks at a time) I found that it really just rains first thing in the morning and clears up by noon. If you can deal with that, its worth it. So close to everything and the Puget sound is absotutely breathtaking! My grandparents lived in Anacorets and I went out there every summer as a child, many good memeries there!

    Comment
  6. jrstudioboss

    3 years ago

    please take me with you!

    Comment
  7. rlaycock

    3 years ago

    If they have any brains they’d go to Texas, Mississippi or South Dakota. Every lib government is trolling for taxes in every session. As the Feds face up to printing less phony money the Blue states will get desperate. The libs are mentally incapable of understanding the proven fact that growth spurred by less government extortion and control actually generates more income. Stupid is as stupid does.

    Comment
  8. Tcat123

    3 years ago

    I would bet dollars to donuts that the Leadership team and most of the employees at savings.com voted for these politicians and/or support the party that has given them these draconian laws. Please make sure to vote for the same type of candidate/party in the new state you move to. That way you can eventually end up in the same situation you are currently in. Then where will you move?

    Comment
  9. EricCartman

    3 years ago

    There’s really no point in relocating if your company and employees bring all your blue state pathologies along with you.

    Comment
  10. DetroitRight

    3 years ago

    come to Michigan. I could use a job. I have awesome computer skills.

    Comment
  11. ebbeszoo

    3 years ago

    Michigan is nice, as long as you like snow… lots and lots of snow…

    Comment
  12. DanaAnderson

    3 years ago

    florida! or texas!

    Comment
  13. ebbeszoo

    3 years ago

    would love flordia, nice and sunny, warm! the problme with va is winter, florida still has nice warm winters!

    Comment
  14. Mr_Derp

    3 years ago

    Come to Arizona! It’s sunny and L.A. is a one-hour plane ride away! Paypal and Amazon have already moved here.

    Comment
  15. motionview

    3 years ago

    Thanks for going public, you might want to avoid the rest of California’s family – Illinois, New Jersey, any states that look deep blue.

    Comment
  16. WhacoTex

    3 years ago

    Move to Austin, Texas no state income tax and you gotta love a city where their motto is Keep Austin Weird!

    Comment
  17. SChaser

    3 years ago

    If you come over here to nearby Arizona, you’ll be welcome unless you bring your California politics with you! I left Santa Monica a long time ago, and it’s only gotten a lot worse since then.

    Comment
  18. Alan_Srout

    2 years ago

    Denton, Texas is where you want to be.

    Comment
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