This St. Patrick’s Day, Don’t Lose Your Green to SUI

On St. Patrick’s Day, revelers will take to neighborhood parades, pubs, and house parties to raise a few glasses with family and friends. But don’t toast just yet- for thousands of people, waking up on March 18th will bring with it the realization that their financial standing is toast. The culprit? Shopping Under The Influence.
Most people will commit Shopping Under The Influence, or SUI, at some point in their lives. Simply put, SUI occurs when purchasing anything under the influence of mind-altering chemicals—a situation that occurs far more frequently than you might realize in our constantly connected world. Have you ever booked a flight online over morning coffee, or bought shoes on your iPad while cradling a glass of wine? Ever bought an app on your phone when your house has a carbon monoxide leak? Then you’ve shopped under the influence.
Most of the time, the consequences of SUI are relatively harmless. Maybe you add an extra throw pillow into the shopping cart or forget to use a free shipping coupon. But our analysis has shown that on a day like St. Paddy’s, where drunken debauchery is the norm, the tentacles of SUI can reach insidiously into the pocketbooks of hapless Americans.
At, our mission to is to help people save money when shopping at their favorite stores, so when we noticed purchases spiking over the course of St. Patrick’s Day last year, we knew something was amiss. Our data scientists got on the case. and after crunching the numbers they realized that, well…people were buying some weird stuff. An $8,000 velvet couch with gold trim and cupholders? Sure. A case of Justin Bieber inspired cologne? Why not? An Alpaca Farm? Where do I sign!
Even if dollar amounts aren’t extravagant, the hurt and shame brought upon one’s family when a baffling purchase arrives in the mail can be devastating. In a followup interview, we spoke to one man whose wife left him when a Wham! 25 Anniversary Collector’s Edition box set was delivered to his front step. “I grew up in the ’80s. I love Wham! It’s a secret I never wanted to share,” said this chastised SUI offender. We don’t doubt his sincerity, but once you let George Michael into your marriage, things rarely return to normal.
We understand this humble plea for caution is but a pebble thrown into the sea of an epidemic. But through diligent research, we’ve identified three steps you can take this St. Patrick’s Day to better safeguard yourself against SUI:
1) Put your devices into a safe and swallow the key
2) Cut up your credit cards
3) Shove a cop on the way home and spend the night in jail
Of course we realize we can’t ask you to not get blasted. That would be crazy.


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