The Ultimate Pizza Race With Josh Androsky

Pizza Race Scratch

It’s the weekend, time to grab some friends, get some beers and relax– you EARNED it. Of course, after a few cold ones, your thoughts turn to your grumbling stomachs. It’s food time. It’s unspoken, but you all know what’s about to go down: Pizza. Of course it’s pizza. It’s always been pizza and it always WILL be pizza. But which major chain do you choose? Which one gets there the FASTEST? We told the delivery guys to put the pedal to the metal and we kicked off a PIZZA RACE.

Director: Cassandra Lee Hamilton

ARVE Error: no id set


Josh Androsky: Hey, it’s me, Josh again with We all love pizza, but there’s so much stress involved. Where do you order it from? You got Domino’s. You got Pizza Hut or Papa John’s. Do you just go to the store and get a DiGiornos? We’re going to discover today who gets there the fastest. That’s right, it’s a pizza race.

Male: It’s a pizza race. Get into it!

Josh Androsky: That was quick.

Male: Oh, give it to me. I’ll come back later.

Josh Androsky: [Hums music] DiGiorno original rising crust. There’s something about it that makes it look like a dead body. I’ll just do it. [Hums music] Oh, Papa John’s is here.

Male: Would you sign right there, please?

Josh Androsky: Of course. Fantastic, buddy. Have a good one. The Domino’s guy was a little better on camera than the Papa John’s guy. This guy is the face of your franchise. If Papa John is the face of your franchise, you’d expect somebody working for you in L.A. to be a better actor.

I think I burned it a little. Ah, which one do you think looks better?

Male: How you doing, man?

Josh Androsky: Thank you buddy. Have a good one.

Male: Enjoy.

Josh Androsky: Oh yeah. Time to eat. Domino’s won the race. They got here first. They were the closest though, and let’s see how they taste. Their ad campaign about how their pizza used to be really bad was true, and their pizza is better. But it was a genius marketing campaign for them because any improvement now is like, “Oh, yeah, back then Domino’s used to be terrible.” I don’t know how much better it is. It’s definitely better looking.

Up next in the race was Papa John’s. This doesn’t look like meat, it looks like dog food. Special garlic sauce which is great because what makes pizza better than an additional four million calories of just salted butter.

All right, last in our pizza race, Pizza Hut. Is this pepperoni? Is that pepperoni? You can’t even see it. Ah, I’m so sad. This does not taste like pizza that should be delivered to your home. Naw dog, Pizza Hut, you blew it.

Josh Androsky quit writing stuff he hated for TV to become a staple of the LA comedy scene. He started shows on the steps of City Hall, went viral as The Skateboard Rabbi on The Price is Right, launched a successful Kickstarter for a US tour, and is a contributor for VICE.


Comments (0)

Leave A Comment

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pin It on Pinterest

SCRATCH DEBUG :: not set