What Skin Care Products Would a Klingon Use?


Klingons are a fierce warrior race with horrible skin issues. Have you seen their foreheads? Wrinkles and crinkles. Now, before you get all in a tizzy and state that is what makes them such fierce warriors, face it. They look old. Uh, about Klingon faces…they could use a little sun block lotion, seriously! Klingons are in desperate need for skin care products from the SkinStore. Wrinkle Care

StriVectin SD Intensive Concentrate for Stretch Marks and Wrinkles
How many wrinkles does it take to make a Klingon’s forehead? Clumps and clumps filled with bumps. This StriVectin Concentrate will hydrate skin as well as improve the appearance of wrinkles and stretch marks within 2 to 8 weeks. Klingons can’t ever look pretty, but do they have to look so um, what’s the word, uh…wrinkly?

Dark Circles/Under Eye Care

Revision Skincare Teamine Eye Complex
Big puffy eyes with dark circles underneath are the curse of every Klingon. Unless you wear a mask like Darth Vader there is nothing warrior worthy showing puffy eyes during battle. With Revision’s Eye Complex, a Klingon can reduce wrinkles lines. Lessening of dark circles. Expect a firming of loose skin under eye up to 23% within one month.

Facial Cleanser

Jan Marini Bioglycolic Facial Cleanser
Bet Klingons don’t like to use soap. No worries. This facial cleanser is soap-free but still leaves skin soft and hydrated. Jan Marini is for all skin types with deep cleansing action. Put it on and rinse it off. No fuss, just the way a Klingon likes it.

Skin Correction

SkinCeuticals Retinol 1.0
Klingons have a serious issue with blotchiness and blemishes. Retinol 1.0 will assist in problematic skin issues by stimulating cell regeneration. It also will build collagen to reduce the appearance of fine wrinkle lines on the face. Retinol will eliminate the need for a moisturizer. Klingons don’t use moisturizers.

Sun Block

Goldfaden Sun Block Spray SPF 30
How many battles fought out in the hot blazing sun? Klingons invade worlds. It’s what they do. No way will a Klingon go through the trouble of rubbing on sun block. A fast absorbing spray that is oil free and scent free, that’s what a Klingon needs.

Which skin care products do you think a Klingon would use?

Charli “Chuck” Gulley is a screenwriter, filmmaker and freelance writer who lives in Southern California. Quite the tomboy, she enjoys Rugby, Fencing and touch football. She’s an alumnus of the prestigious screenwriter’s workshop, “Writers Bootcamp.” Her passion is Hollywood, anything and everything to do with filmmaking. If you don’t find her on set, you can find her at the arcade playing air hockey and eating pizza.

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  1. CrystalECollins

    3 years ago

    Klingons are hot and need no skincare! :) Great post, by the way!

  2. ChuckG

    3 years ago

    Thank you. They are “hot” in their own, uh, wrinkly way…

  3. Appayipyip

    3 years ago

    Skin care is for the weak! Hab SoSlI’ Quch!

  4. ChuckG

    3 years ago

    Appay – I think you just spoke Klingon to me. Quick, someone get me a Klingon dictionary!

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