With Just S&H, Men’s Subscription Services Can Make You A Man
You’re a man, busy doing things like biting the caps off of beer bottles and serenading ladies on the street with the ancient Hymn of the Cat Call. With a hectic schedule like that, how can you possibly be bothered with shopping for essential man-stuff? Okay but what if your mom is busy? Right, exactly. That is the premise of Men’s online subscription services. Dedicated to finding the easiest way for you to man it up, they take any and all pesky work on your part out of the equation. So what kinds of things are readily available from your fingertips to your doorstep?
Razors – The internet is VERY concerned with making sure men are shaving. If you haven’t already created an artisan straight razor out of a vintage bike tire and are still going the cartridge route, there options for you. Number one, because it is the easiest to remember, is Dollar Shave Club, which offers three choices of blades in $1, $3 and $9 a month options. Once a month, DSC sends you the razors, and has upgrade options to include a shaving butter, which makes sense for synergy, and pre-moistened peppermint scented toilet paper called One Wipe Charlies, which makes no sense and sort of freaks me out when I think about the men who need that on a monthly subscription.
The most direct competitor to DSC is Harry’s, which offers a 5-blade cartridge that sells for $1.88 a pop, in package sets that include replacement razors and 2 tubes of their branded shaving cream on 2-6 month intervals based on the individual’s shaving needs. The major selling point of Harry’s seems to be that it is somewhat fancier than Dollar Shave Club’s more utility-breed of razor cartridges. Boasting German engineering, Harry’s claims that their desire was to create a handle “that feels like an extension of your hand.” Apparently no one let them know that Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Sweet described his razors in much the same way.
One more contender of note in the razor by mail market is Manpacks which I swear I’m not only including because I think the name is hilarious. Manpacks offers a similar deal to DSC with a monthly $9 5-blade razor pack. But the extent of their service reaches well beyond the face-shearers above to provide a one-stop shopping for any and all basic male needs, adding into the mix socks, underwear, t-shirts and even condoms. With customizable packages delivered quarterly, Manpacks draws the kind of excitement that leads to front-page testimonials like these from men who are way too eager to tell the world how terrible they were at being adults:
Clothes – Speaking of threads, the internet is happy to play on the well known fact that men absolutely hate to shop by helping those mall-allergic males who still want to look their sartorial smartest. Enter Trunk Club, a direct personal stylist program that packages up to eight individually selected pieces and ships them to you on demand. Unlike monthly subscription services, Trunk Club only sends a box when requested, and also seems to make no claims towards discounted pricing and suggests that nothing you receive is under $100. The entire pitch of Trunk Club is that someone is picking out clothes for you so that you don’t have to. Which begs the question of what men are willing to spend several hundreds of dollars on clothes and yet also don’t care that much about them?
But what if you already have a few great suits from when you had to go shopping because you had a job interview or because someone died or because your dad was embarrassed when you told him you were in your twenties and didn’t own any? You’ve got those suits but you don’t want to have to keep shopping to keep your wardrobe looking snappy. Fresh Neck has you covered. Essentially like Netflix for ties and accessories, for a fee starting at $30, Fresh Neck sends you different designer ties and cufflinks which you can wear and then send back to be replaced. The perfect service for single men to imagine what it’s like to have uncreative children on their birthday or Father’s Day.
Beer – And last but not least, even beer can be picked out for your pleasure. Beer of the Month Club, which has been operating since 1994 back when the internet was just a fad, sends you 12 bottles of microbrewed suds, with membership levels priced from $24-$70 plus shipping, giving you ranges from domestic brews to rare finds. Delivered to your door just in time to kill any brain cells that might have made you consider going to the store.
Rye Silverman is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles. Rye has been seen on the Fusion channel, is a contributor to the Huffington Post and runs a blog about style, pop culture, and gender called Chick Like Me.